Photo: Stuart's attempt to pay the fine with a large pine cone failed.



The journey had been good so far, but I was still adjusting to the wrong side of the road and wrong position of my gear stick. A few crunches eventually found the one I was looking for. We then face our first hurdle...the toll gates. I had a choice of several to choose from, and naturally I went to the quietest one. Not a lot seemed to be happening here. Nobody was in the booth and there appeared to be a lack of payment boxes, so perhaps the deal was you pay at the other end. The gate opened so I headed through it and off we went. Several kilometers later we turned up at another. This time there was a part human being in the shape of an Italian woman sat in the booth. After an exchange of a few words, we established that I had come from Pisa and not Manchester. She then got out of her box and made a note of the reg and charged us 5 Euros, and then gave us the biggest receipt ever. Into the glove compartment it went, unaware of what it was.

3 days later Emma was reading it and discovered it was actually a fine. My first ever motoring offence was on foreign soil. But that woman had made no mention of it and politely smiled as she had handed it to me. What a cow! 51 Euro's...the cheek of it. Seemingly (much to the amusement of the campsite staff) we had driven through the Auto Pass gate...the one used by people who have purchased...err an auto pass. Bugger it, I was now being charged 51 Euros to pay for the privilege of driving on all of Tuscany's Autostrada, even though I was actually using around 40 miles of their pot hole ridden attempt of a motorway. Paying it was no fun as it meant a visit to the post office. I discovered that post office staff are universally miserable. Perhaps there is an employment agency specialising in people with no facial expression muscles and who are genetically linked to Alsatians. Anyway Mrs Jobswrothyio simply handed over a form that was in Italian and told Emma to fill it in. This meant getting it translated at the campsite, where by now the story of the stupid British people's toll fine was spreading like wildfire. The other thing about post offices around the world it they are full of pensioner's who queue. After a long stand we got the fine payed.

Photo: My least favourite place in Tuscany...the tolls





So my advice if going to Italy is avoid where you can the tolls. The other roads are slower but more scenic and have less bovine creatures employed to work on them